M.C. Vaseline, Republican and co-founder of The Raging Face, has accomplished more than just about anyone you can think of. He's been a book publisher, dog farmer, rodeo clown, mustard-seed seller, midget wrangler, anti-pornography crusader, urban sprawl apologist and Jew for Jesus. Of course, he's probably most famous as an opponent of death-- he's led initiatives to have the end of life outlawed in over twenty states. Who could forget his "Just Say No to the Reaper" bumperstickers that became such a hit in the summer of 1994? The Raging Face sat down with him recently to discuss the latest attack from his enemies, who claim The Raging Face has too many links and no content. Here's what we heard:

TRF: Hi, M.C. Vaseline!! You're looking great!!

M.C.: Yes, that's true. It's a little something we call "botox." Also a little something we call "not being that old", and so I look pretty young. And a little something we call "not having a job so I'm never stressed out."

TRF: How do you support yourself?

M.C.: By selling alcohol to illegal aliens. I also make papier-mache lingerie and counterfeit foodstamps.

TRF: Great, great. Listen, we wanted to talk to you today about the lack of content on TRF, your website.

M.C.: Those people who say things like that don't probably know how to read or write. And they certainly have that odor about them, you know what I mean? Like, oh, ok, you stink and you're going to complain about my site? Give me a break. How about spending that time washing under your arms or taking the hair out of your mouth. And, while you're at it, give me some money and I'd also like a burrito.

TRF: Geez. Pretty harsh words.

M.C.: You'd be harsh, too, if you had to hear this garbage day in and day out, year after year. Granted, the site's only been up for a month or so, but I can predict a lot of things, and I predict the complainers and whiners will come out in force on this one. Look, I'm not a politician. I don't need to grease anyone's wheels. All I need is to be left alone and to have my children not kill other people so I have to defend them on the evening news. That's all I ask. It's not that hard.

TRF: Why isn't there more content on the site?

M.C.: It's really not a fair question. Why aren't you more attractive? Why do I not have eight fingers? Why do I have webbed feet? I mean, are these the issues we care about? Whether there's content on the site? I mean, Good Lord, what's next: "M.C. Vaseline, have you paid your taxes?" "M.C. Vaseline, did you brush your teeth?" Puh-leez. This is America, not Russia. I think we all just need to remember that sometimes. This is not Russia.

TRF: But are people going to visit the site if there's nothing really on it?

M.C.: That's not what we're talking about here. We're talking about other things, like sports and medicine and business. And there will be plenty of people who know that they can come to us for that kind of stuff, whether it's on the website or not. Look, if you're sick, and you need a doctor immediately, or your water heater explodes in the middle of the night, you're going to come to The Raging Face. Whether there's anything on the site or not. Maybe you'll just get that broken link error message. But it will have given your mind a chance to rest. And isn't that what we're all looking for, a chance to rest?

TRF: True enough, God bless.

M.C.: Well said, well said.