• Act forceful. Perhaps surprisingly, Death is shy. He'll back away if you use your biggest voice.
  
  
• Confuse Death. Maybe by having your six-year old son answer the door and pretend to be you.
  
  
• Act all hang-dog. Death is a fierce competitor. He may lose interest if he thinks you're wussy.
  
  
• Answer the door in your Jesus Christ halloween costume. He'll get out of there quick -- that's the only arguably human guy that ever beat Death.
  
  
• Take the same advice they give to hikers, in case they see a bear.
  

"If you do encounter Death, do not panic and DO NOT run. Running usually results in an attack. Also, do not shout or wave your arms. Instead, stand still and avoid looking Death in the eyes. You might also want to talk softly to Death. This will help Death identify what you are and that you are not a threat. If you are carrying pepper spray then now is the time to take it out and get ready to use it. If you see Death is going to attack or gets aggressive, you should make a lot of noise--make yourself "big", because that is how Death tells itself to leave itself alone. Then--and ONLY---if Death attacks, do you curl up in a ball. . . ."

• Tell a joke. Death loves a good laugh. Don't curse; Death has told friends He finds swearing "too easy, a crutch ."
  
  
• Consider suicide. Death has quotas to fill, like a traffic cop. If you’re already dead, He’ll have to go next door. You don’t win, but at least your neighbor doesn’t, either.