Vaseline, you stupid pimp:

Been a while.  As if I care.  I burned that Valentine's Day card you sent me, and fed the chocolates to my dog.  I'm forwarding the funeral expenses under separate cover, and don't be surprised if you are haunted by a rabid hound in your sleep for the next six months or so.

What really pisses me off about this is that I have this great idea for you, for free publicity for your filthy little rag of a webpage.  Great responses, guaranteed.  Cartoons.  "Editorial cartoons," that's what I'm talking about.  You think the Prophet with a bomb on his head got attention?  I have got some GREAT ideas for you, ideas that are going to catapult TRF into global headlines.  Yeah, they all involve the Prophet Mohammed in one form of blasphemy or another.  In fact, let's just imagine this loosely, so that your cartoonists don't feel too constrained.  They can just get down their Korans and one by one pick out the blasphemies, and stick that in a cartoon with the Prophet doing the blasphemous acts.  The possibilities are practically endless.  It could be a weekly, even a daily series.  I mean, think about pork alone: spareribs, pork roasts and chops, ham of all different kinds, bacon, pork rinds, hot dogs... I think you could do a whole series just on bacon myself.  Just a face full of bacon, that's enough to set people off.  Something about a slice of cooked bacon sitting on someone's face, it's just not where it's supposed to be.  I won't even get into the other places you could put that slice of bacon for comic effect.  Or what else you show someone doing with a live cartoon pig.  It's like the dirty joke: "two pigs fell in the mud," if you get what I mean.

There you go, Vaseline.  That's it.  That's my idea for you.  I don't care what you think, if you cast it aside, you are a chump and a knave.  Robert Louis Stevenson captured my exact  sentiment when he wrote "I regard you with an indifference bordering on aversion."

"Dick" Struthers

'Dick' Struthers
Philanthropist
Concerned Citizen
CEO
Struthers Trust and Enterprises Unlimited

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