Golda Meir

Highest Office: Prime Minister of Israel, 1969-1974.

Shoe Size: 7 and a half.

Favorite style: Combat Petites.

 

Best Foot Forward: Knowing that Syria was about to attack Israel in 1973, Meir did not launch a preemptive strike, thereby assuring American aid for her country during the Yom Kippur War. Told by Henry Kissinger that help was on the way, the joyful lady kicked off her sensible brogans to reveal a pair of creamy soles and blushing heels. If only stockings thick as mosquito netting hadn't spoiled the effect. Still, Moshe Dayan was cocking an eye!

Rave (David Ben-Gurion): 'The Prime Minister's tootsies are two little lumps of savory meatloaf with five mouth-sized mushroom caps on each. Yum.'

^^^

Margaret Thatcher

Highest Office: Prime Minister of the United Kingdom 1979-1990.

Shoe Size: 9 and a half.

Favorite Style: Open-toed Gondolas.

Best Foot Forward: Standing on tiptoe in Parliament in 1982 while commanding the Royal Navy to recapture of the Falkland Islands from Argentina, Thatcher emphasized the graceful curve of her arches as well as her long, prehensile toesies. The ministers could only gasp in wonder at such patriotism in combination with such steely-smooth Achilles tendons.

Endorsement (Ronald Reagan): 'These little piggies went to market, and how.'

^^^

Madeleine Albright

Highest Office: US Secretary of State 1997-2000.

Shoe Size: 8 and three quarters.

Favorite Style: Puddle Jumpers.

Best Foot Forward: While toasting Kim Jong-il in 2000, Madame Secretary subtly rebuffed the autocrat by kicking off a pump and wriggling her tootsie in an unfettered display of democratic freedom. And don't think the Dear Leader of North Korea didn't notice that kissable arch, or fail to imagine his tongue sliding along it. Yowsa!

Rave (Bill Clinton): 'Madeleine's puppies remind me of ten crunchy croutons stuck on two delicious wedges of soft cheese.'

^^^

Hillary Clinton

Highest Offices to Date: First Lady of the United States 1993-2001, US Senator (D-New York) 2001-present.

Shoe Size: 10 and a quarter

Favorite Style: Sling-back Canoes.

Best Foot Forward: While being sworn in as US Senator in 2001 by Vice President Al Gore, Clinton and her equally large-footed 20-year-old daughter Chelsea demonstrated a synchronized Rockettes-style kick that knocked the senator's shoe off, exposing to the delighted Gore a slender, slightly yellowish ped with whitish dusty heels.

Rave (Allan Greenspan): 'Hill's got long white doggies with a saucy Morton's Toe that can flip you off.'

^^^

Condoleeza Rice

Highest Office to Date: U.S. Secretary of State, 2004-present.

Shoe Size: 8.

Favorite Style: Republican Stiletto.

Best Foot Forward: As nominee for Secretary of State in 2005, Rice defended the Bush administration's invasion of Iraq against fierce questioning from Congress, often extending a delicate arch or cocking a supple ankle for emphasis. By no means turned off by this display of well-shod femininity, congress rose to its feet to applaud when the lady dropped a shoe and displayed a beautiful tan appendage with five nails buffed like diamonds!

Rave (John Kerry): 'I think if you were to talk to Condi, she would tell you that beautiful feet are part of being who she is. They are the feet she was born with. They are not a choice.'

^^^

Angela Merkel

Title: Chancellor of Germany, 2005-present.

Shoe Size: 9 and three-quarters.

Favorite Style: Gray Battleships.

Best Foot Forward: To the tune of the Rolling Stones' 'Angie,' and sporting a sassy new hairdo and colorful new pumps, Merkel campaigned like a rock star against and the dour Gerhard Schroeder for the spot of German Chancellor in 2005 and came up a winner. She then toured the world, wowing European Union leaders from France to England with the sight and fragrance of her velvety and perfumed feet within sheer stockings. Ahh!

Rave (Jacques Chirac): 'In Paris I kissed her hand the old-style way, kissing the air just above it. But had it been her foot that I held in my hands, Sacre Bleu! I should not have been able to prevent my lips from tasting so succulent a German sausage.'

^^^

Queen Elizabeth II

Title: Her Majesty, 1953-present.

Shoe Size: 7 and a half.

Favorite Style: Several cuts above Payless.

Best Foot Forward: After knighting Paul McCartney in 1996, Her Majesty astonished Sir Paul by dancing a shoeless twist & shout. A chuffed Prince Philip turned his back to see his mate trot out her horny old hoofs, but Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber went gaga to see Her Highness' two blue-veined and cherry-tipped beauties cutting the Buckingham rug.

Rave (Harold Pinter): 'Elizabeth sports unpedicured flapjacks with bunions sweet as syrup. Hail Britannia!'