Everyone knows how antsy kids can get during a long elevator ride. Whether you’re going up or down, here are a few games to keep the little ones occupied.
Odd or Even
This is ideal for two players. One child takes odd, the other even, then they go through the wallets of the other occupants. (If the children aren’t particularly adept at picking pockets, feel free to lend a hand.) The last digit on all major credit cards will determine who wins. If you already happen to be at the mall, consider letting the winner use one or more of the cards for an early birthday shopping spree.
Guessing Games
Players should focus on one particular occupant at a time, trying to guess his or her age or weight. Whoever is closest to the actual number wins. If subjects should refuse to provide the winning answer, remember that you still have their wallets, so just check the driver’s license.
If a pregnant woman is on board, guesses can include how many weeks along she is, or the sex of the baby. Older kids may wish to speculate about various details of the conception.
I Spy
After scanning the other people in the elevator, a player will call out, "I spy a wide load" or "I spy ear hair." The other players then guess at the likely suspects until the right one is discovered, at which point mocking laughter should ensue.
Shins
Another game best suited for two. Each child chooses a stranger and repeatedly kicks him or her in the shin. If either player starts to get a stern lecture on civility, they should just ignore it and kick all the harder. The first player to be swatted upside the head loses. In the unlikely event that both are struck simultaneously, they must move on to a tie-breaker in which the game is taken up a notch. Each player should now repeatedly punch their victim in the kidney. This will result in both of them being charged with assault and sentenced to a juvenile hall. The first one to plan an elaborate escape, bide their time, and then successfully break out is declared the winner.
Find the Claustrophobic
There’s a chance that one of your fellow passengers has a latent fear of elevators. Each player should turn to you, the parent, and ask questions such as "What was that rattling sound?" (Answer: "Probably just the cable.") Or "If the elevator gets stuck, how long before we all suffocate?" (Answer: "Three minutes.")
Pay close attention to the people around you. Is one of them frenziedly clawing at the walls and/or the faces of the other occupants? That's probably your man. Although there is no designated winner in this game, watching the guy freak out sure makes the time go by more quickly.
Follow the Leader
That's it. You've finally arrived at your floor. Unfortunately, with all the trouble you and the kids have caused, security personnel will undoubtedly be waiting for you when the door opens. To avoid this, have the children follow you through the emergency hatch in the roof and up the elevator shaft. It will be a long climb before you safely make your escape, but perhaps you can play some games to keep the little ones occupied.
Ralph Gamelli lives in a certain state, but won't say which one. He's been published before, but won't say where. He's got hobbies, but won't list them. He's even more mysterious on the subject of pets. Does he have any? There's no way to know. In short, reading this bio has been a complete waste of your time.