Essays, Fictions, Etc. - by E.L. Rosenboom Holy cow, it’s going to be just great.

First off, Marianne, can I just say thank you for wearing that Southwestern inspired kaftan. The pattern is just mesmerizing and it is so impressive that it is made from a single piece of fabric! I really think it captures your energy well and I think it is going to bring the spirit of the Southwest up north.  And kudos to you for adding that charming belt with the sterling silver accents, I think it’s a true testament to your free spirit personality.  Gosh, they are going to learn so much from you.   They are going to learn so much from this.  What seat are you?  I’m 26A.   I’ve always considered myself the window-type, I actually think the aisle makes you feel more boxed in, you know, reverse psychology in action.  I’ve been trying to think of a theme for the last few days and I thought of the time I was driving with my wife and she was driving too fast for my taste and so I said to her “You know, Patricia, if you were a Native American, your name would be She Who Has Lead Foot” and she stared at me and turned the radio a bit louder, but I could tell she got it because she slowed down about one mile per hour which in some cases can be the difference between life and death.  Anyway, I was thinking about this and I think our theme should be “We Who Have Light Feet,” because I think it really captures the essence of what these two days are about.  It’s a shame we didn’t have time to get this printed on some free post-its or pads, because I am certain that it would spread like wildfire as a life motto for anyone who attends.  I think I’ll share that story of me and my wife so they can understand the roots of the theme, especially since lead and light sound so close, I want them to understand the purposeful flipping of the script.  Flip the script, that’s another good one, I think I’ll use that in my session.  Hey, what zone are you in?  Zone 2.  I’m in Zone 3.  Gosh, what a great question- what zone are you in?- I think I’ll use that in my session too.

Now I’m not in charge of the schedule and we won’t see a final version of the order of events until we get to the conference center, so Marianne, you and I really need to be prepared for anything.  We could be the very first in the morning or the last in the day, either way we need to act as if we hadn’t asked for any other time slot in the world.  I know for certain that one of my sessions is right before lunch because during lunch there is going to be an Optional Breakthrough Experience that I am facilitating in the main atrium.  I’m not going to say it’s optional, I’m just going to say “there will be a Breakthrough Experience in the atrium” because most people should know that it’s optional and if they don’t I really think they should attend instead of disappearing and talking or wandering because I really feel that they lose a lot of critical energy when they do that.  I’ve experienced this Optional Breakthrough Experience before and it really is unlike anything I’ve ever done.   You lie down on the floor and you close your eyes and you just feel the most amazing sensation your body can have, just this shock that bursts yourself wide open.  See, this guy I know, DJ Karman, walks around and drops a water balloon on your chest, and you don’t know that it’s going to happen because you have your eyes closed and I’m talking about life and connectivity so you’re listening to me and them BOOM, balloon straight to the chest.  It is just so invigorating.   And you have this amazing bond with everyone who went to the Optional Breakthrough Experience because your shirts are all soaking wet for the rest of the day, and it’s like a group battle scar that no one talks about but everyone feels.  But Marianne, I’ll need your help getting people with any health conditions to opt out of the Optional Breakthrough Experience, I can’t deal with the potential consequences without ruining it for everybody.  Maybe you can lead them in a guided meditation down the hall, you’re so powerful at that.  I’d go to it myself if I didn’t have to lead this Optional Breakthrough Experience.   So that’s at lunchtime, that’s all I know for certain.

I really wouldn’t be worried about having enough time to bond if I were you.  The whole day is about building bonds and trust.  Even if you are the first session to go in the morning, you’ll see.  We’ll get their hearts open tomorrow.  Especially if we believe it.  If we believe it, they believe it.  And I believe that you believe you can do this, even if you are the first person to go tomorrow.  Now I know it can be hard to get two strangers to bond before lunchtime, especially if it’s two men, and I’m pretty sure it’s going to be mostly men, but you know, sometimes people can really surprise you.  I had this guy in Nevada once who was such a pill at the start of the day and by our early afternoon Mandatory Appreciation Session he was tearing up about how he choked on a piece of cantaloupe earlier during break and this guy Ravi from his IT department practically saved his life.  That, Marianne, is bonding. It’s really all about opening up and giving, I tell them it’s all about taking the right Offertunity.  See if you take the opportunity to offer up something about yourself, most likely, the other person is going to offer up something about himself as well.  And when you offer yourself, what are you really offering?  Unity.  Offer… Unity.  Offertunity.  The t can be silent. Hey, maybe Offertunity should be the theme of our sessions, that way I wouldn’t have to talk about my wife.  I think it really captures a sense of action while thinking against the grain, you know, flipping that script.  I think they just called your zone.  Yes, your zone has definitely received a calling.  I tell you what, if you are the first person to go tomorrow, you should come to my Optional Breakthrough Experience at lunch since you can have your shirt wet for the rest of the day since you’ll already have led your energy circles.  We can get someone to make an announcement about the health condition thing or something, but discreetly, you know?  I just hope that kaftan doesn’t bleed if it gets wet, I know how much time you put into that outfit.  Yeah, we’ll get those hearts open, no problem.