We are not kidding -- in response to Stone Ridgecrest's recent attack on Scott Van Pelt in these pages (click here to view Ridgecrest's original piece), we received the following, from Scott Van Pelt himself. He sent it from a real ESPN email address and everything. Also, I think you'll agree that he leaves Ridgecrest hurting. Without further delay . . .

A buddy of mine sent me this link and told me to check out the dude who dropped napalm on me. I did. I have no beef with most of it. You think I suck on tv ? That's fine- the people who pay me every couple of weeks don't. So , somehow, I'll learn to live with your disapproval. If you have to turn the channel to avoid being tortured by my inane banter, please do.

However I must take issue with your central theme. A dork, I am not. What you don't know about me, because we've not met, is that I DO know that I'm an idiot. Believe me, I do. I have always thought that if you were articulate and self deprecating, you could succeed in life. I understand that I am fortunate to do what I do, I don't overrate it. I don't waste my time worrying about if I'm the coolest guy in the room. But I'd love to know how it feels - I'm sure you could tell me.

According to your math " 84 % of the people on earth are dorks ". I'm guessing you place yourself in the other 16 %. Since you label yourself " smarter than everyone else and clairvoyant ", I'm certain you do...and as an added bonus you saw my reply coming!

I'll tell you what - I will gladly put my life experiences side by side with yours and we can take inventory. I'll even let you come up with the criterion. What makes a dork ? The places they've been ? the people they call friends ? the books they've read ? the women they've dated ? what suite they can get comped in Vegas ? . You tell me. In any category you can possibly contemplate I will gladly take my chances against a loud mouthed stooge like you.

You think I'm an embarrassment to my family ? I'm guessing you're the type of renaissance man who makes his family so very proud by living in the basement, and surfacing around 3 every afternoon for a bowl of Captain Crunch......after you've spent some quality time on line bashing TV types, of course.

You know what the bitch of this ? You think I suck - yet every day I am hosting SportsCenter and YOU are out there watching.

So tell me....who, exactly, is the dork